Unfortunately my work habits (or lack there of) being what they are, I have left the production of two journal posts to the last day. So this entry will be a composite reflection of the first two weeks as a whole, and likely a reflection on my first month here in Berlin as well. I apologize in advance for spelling and grammatical errors, as I am one of a generation hopelessly dependent upon auto-correct, a feature sadly absent from Internet cafe web windows.
The first two weeks of the program have been both encouraging and somewhat daunting. Production of our own film projects, while enormously exciting (and the draw of me to this program in the first place) has produced in me an inexplicable dread. Our group has literally no experience, and I feel like Nathan, Jon/Frodo, and Jesse came here for different reasons not entirely or maybe even remotely connected with film. I'm encouraged by their enthusiasm to film and we definitely have no shortage on energy, but our project and its focus has yet to develop into any clear form. I personally am most excited about the editing process, and was hoping to assign myself to the majority of that responsibility, but it has become clear that we will all be doing much of the work together, as a group. It will likely turn out much better this way, but I'm intimidated both by our topic and by the time we have to produce a body of footage.
Originally our group was drawn to the notion of a comedy film, somehow giving whatever we produce a funny twist to keep it interesting. I still think this is an excellent idea, because making anything entirely serious, overly artistic, or intellectually challenging may end up in disaster. We want to keep it light, in order to keep ourselves interested and also to keep from getting into anything over our cinamotographically adolescent heads. So our tentative topic so far will have something to do with Berlin counter-culture and its history. Which aspect we will focus on is the difficult decision we will have to make within the next week in order to begin filming. A few (myself included) in our group are interested in the sociological explanations behind Berlin's legacy as a center for deviance and rebellion against certain social norms and stereotypes. This issue, however, is a difficult one to address in film, especially in a manner focused and succinct enough to fit into a 2-month process and 25 minute final product. So I'm left uneasy and unsure of where to go. Eric provided an interested suggestion surrounding squatters in the city, a group with a history here and much pertinent to the topic at hand. We will be looking into the options and researching the history as much as possible this week. I find my biggest reservation surrounding the necessary interviews we would need to sufficiently address these topics. Approaching some of the groups we are considering will be an intimidating project.
I have to interject here, it has been an extremely technologically frustrating week. I say this now only because I just took a 40 minute break from writing just trying to figure out how to switch the word processor over to English on this terribly slow computer. Now I have the luxury of spell check, but it cost me 30 cents to get it. I can't wait for Internet in our apartments, which should arrive this Tuesday. Everything will be easier. Research, correspondence, posting, coursework, and leisure. All of these things will no longer come at the cost of .50/hour and we can do them from the comfort of our own apartments.
Also throwing a hitch in getting things started is the now-apparent lameness of my computer. My relatively new Toshiba is not only at merely 50% operating capacity, RAM-wise, of what it should be but also pathetically low on free space. Tomorrow I will take in my computer to get it upgraded, and hopefully get the ball rolling on this whole film-editing process. I am excited to get this film software for free (or not-so-free, considering the $3000 program price-tag) and even more excited to have it for use after the program. While I have no experience producing or editing film so far, I have watched the process in the past and have many friends engulfed in the frustrating process of trying to “make it”in the film world. While I aspire to no such goal, film is the medium to which I feel most inclined as an artistically-challenged individual. I could never draw or paint, and while I can play a musical instrument, composition is like a frighteningly foreign language. But film I can understand, and if this process goes well and in a way that I find encouraging, I will consider devoting part of my life to it. If not, it will at least be a skill I can use as a hobby for the rest of my life.
Aside from technological hiccups, these first two weeks of class have been extremely exciting. As a history and sociology major, the topic foci of the two courses are perfect for me. A large part of the reason I came to Berlin was to experience physically a place I have so many times experienced intellectually. While my focus in history was quite broad, I have taken at least three courses discussing German history and its influence on the movements of Europe in general. To put myself at the center of that history is exciting. Having a teacher a tour-guide of Thorsten's caliber is awesome and I can't wait for all the weekly excursions. Last week I volunteered to take the first “special assignment”in Thorsten's class on collective memory and culture. It was a daunting task, and I don't think I managed to cover it adequately, but my efforts at least brought home to me personally all the psychological depth involved in a city like Berlin. The layering of memory is intense, and the whole city seems to vibrate with the unseen. So much change happened so rapidly in the last century. In Kracaur's essay Farewell to the Linden Arcade he addresses this social transience, as he refers to it, and also develops his discussion of “passageways” into a discussion of movement and transition in general. His last sentence I found particularly haunting: “What would be the point of an arcade in a society that is itself only a passageway?” For some reason the notion of society as passageway strikes me as eery. From where to towards what are we traveling? His reference to fascism is shocking in its accuracy, and makes the reader consider historical trajectory. It made me consider Germany and Europe today, and Berlin as the center of new historical direction as unclear as that of Kracaur's Berlin in the 1930s.
All for now. I have surpased both the word requirement and my lunchtime.
1 comment:
sweet
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